Great job on this. The dialog was very realistic and I could really picture the characters saying it. I like that you didn't turn it into a romance, at least not yet, but planted the seeds for her starting to trust him and maybe leading to something more. I'm still a Jack/Audrey fan so I don't want Jack and Renee to get together romantically but I do like the dynamic between them as it's been established so far, and you did a great job of capturing that.
I thought this was a particularly good line: "Renee, listen. I don't expect you to forgive me, but right now we need to work together if we're going to prevent people from getting hurt. I need to know if you can do that," he said as he pulled the towel away from his nose.
I could totally picture Jack saying exactly that...you did a great job with making the dialog realistic.
I'm a little confused by this line though: "I can do that. But I swear to you, Bauer, if you double-cross me and don't kill me, I'll shoot you myself."
What did you mean by that? Why would she want him to kill her?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
winterfish
That was really good
Date: 2009-02-01 08:28 pm (UTC)I thought this was a particularly good line:
"Renee, listen. I don't expect you to forgive me, but right now we need to work together if we're going to prevent people from getting hurt. I need to know if you can do that," he said as he pulled the towel away from his nose.
I could totally picture Jack saying exactly that...you did a great job with making the dialog realistic.
I'm a little confused by this line though: "I can do that. But I swear to you, Bauer, if you double-cross me and don't kill me, I'll shoot you myself."
What did you mean by that? Why would she want him to kill her?